“Despite my ghoulish reputation, I really have the heart
of a small boy. I keep it in a jar on my desk.”
“May you live every day of your life.”
How come In heaven, all the interesting people are missing?
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have
the most live the longest!
A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey
around the sun. Enjoy the trip!
“In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start
out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old people's home feeling better every day. You get kicked out
for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first
day. You work for 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You party, drink alcohol, and then you
are ready for high school. You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play. You have no responsibilities, you become
a baby until you are born. And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa-like conditions with central heating
and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then Voila! You finish off as an o***sm!”